Angels in Envelopes–Lottie Bordelon’s “Life and Death Row”

If you told me a year ago that I would be involved with death row inmates I probably wouldn’t have believed you. I would look at you even stranger if you told me I would call one of them by brother. Well that was then and this is now.
I have long felt the need to help others but wasn’t sure how, but through prayer, God pointed me towards death penalty abolition. I’ll be the first one to admit it is not easy. People are quick to judge and quote “an eye for an eye” scripture to me but when I was praying about my decision to become a pen pal- The Lord reminded me that Jesus himself stepped in front of a woman about to be executed for her lifestyle and informed those so eager to see her die that only someone completely free of sin could judge her (cast the first stone). This was not Jesus’s way of calling us sinners- it was to remind us that only a perfect entity could decide who lives or dies- and that one perfect entity is The Lord God.

With all this in mind of opened my mind and my heart and reached out to 5 prisoners in all.

I have been told by every one of them that the worst part of being on death row is not the fear of dying but the pain of many of their family members abandoning them.

Being a pen pal has been such a wonderful experience. It is hard, I cannot pretend every letter is full of love and joy. One of my pen pals was alone for so long that he was considering giving up his final appeals. His letter telling me this (even though we had only written for about 2 weeks) shook me to my core. In fact I had to leave the house and go get some fresh air because it was almost too much to bear. How can I answer him? What can I say to him so he does not to give up?

That wasn’t the answer though. The answer was to give him truly unconditional love- which he’s never had and tell him that no matter what I would be by his side. Even if that meant standing in a witness room, experiencing the worst event of my life, just so he would not be alone. I can’t let him die having everyone think he is a monster. I realized that if I can’t save his life, I can at least make him feel like a human being.

Much to my relief that was exactly what he needed to hear. He says he will keep fighting!

That’s why I jumped at the chance to write this article- so that others can see how being a death row pen pal can change the lives of everyone involved.

Something as simple as telling them how much you look forward to getting their letters, can make that inmate want to keep fighting. I have learned that a kind word, a little money on their books, a card just to say hi, all these things make their day bearable and can help heal emotional wounds from years ago. That brings me so much joy. The fact that they don’t take anything or anyone for granted.

It isn’t just their lives that have been changed though. Battling infertility for 3 years I struggle to find a way to care for someone who needs me. Having my pen pals has given me someone who really needs me. It has also introduced me to so many wonderful people. I am friends with many of my pen pal’s free world friends and together we are forming the family many of them have never had.

One pen pal stands out though. Elijah is an inmate on death row in Texas. He was the first person I wrote to and he and I have developed a brother- sister bond that could not be stronger if we came from the same mother! He is so encouraging and positive which is SO remarkable being his situation. He is always so grateful for everything I can manage to do for him and has really inspired me to appreciate the freedoms that I have.

Even the most mundane task- like going to work- I appreciate more. Just the ability to go to the grocery store whenever I want, order Chinese food whenever I want- these are all things I used to do everyday without really being grateful for any of it. I always prayed and thanked The Lord for all he has given me but now I thank Him for all the small details of my life.

All too often we say that we are Americans so freedom is our right. The truth is that rights can very easily be violated and every day when I wake up and step foot outside into the sun, I am reminded that Elijah can’t do that. Just the other day I looked up at the moon and stars and thought “Elijah hasn’t seen this in 11 years!”

I have learned to not be caught up in the materialism that runs rampant in society but to take time to smell the roses because in a flash it can be taken from you.

I have learned that family is defined not by blood but by those who stand by you.

I have learned that the only limitations I have are the ones I put on myself.

I suppose some would call my death row pen pals a charity, but I don’t see it that way. Charity is giving to those who can give you nothing in return- my pen pals have given me a gift that is priceless. They have taught me the true value of life.

 

From  “Angels in Envelopes”

Editor, Lottie Bordelon’s

https://www.facebook.com/lottie.bordelon

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Angels-in-Envelopes-CSADP-Pen-Pal-Ministry/1478986488979634